Made it!!
I just got through that last month, whew! March is a mixed-emotions-kind-of-month for me. It’s the love-of-my-life’s birthday, but he shares the same.exact.day with my little sister who went to be with the Lord. The anticipation of the day is filled with so many emotions which leaves me struggling to know how to navigate what to feel, how to feel, how to celebrate or not celebrate. This particular March 12, 2014 has been one where I’ve done A LOT of reflection.
Let me back up. A few years ago when we were in the throes of Adam’s health issues -- we were told his life expectancy would be 40. So the last few years for me have always had March 12, 2014 at the forefront, because THAT is the day my sweet husband would turn 40. (Now of course no one knows the EXACT day, but do you kinda get my drift?) I know you aren’t supposed to go to the place of “losing him” or “what will we do” or “how will we get though this,” but I did. How could I not. Without even knowing it, I had become an insecure, anxious, hard-to-breathe kind of girl. My heart was always pounding, I was always short of breath and my heart had an ache all the time. So the anticipation of THIS March for SO MANY years was fearful - where Adam’s health would be, where we would be, how would we be getting through, etc. But this March came and went and for so many years what I feared is not our reality. My life looks so much different. I am speechless and beyond grateful. My perspective is different and things so many strive for are just not important to me (so if you see me stare off into space at times when I’m talking to someone who is telling me about superficial material things that they looooong for and won’t be happy until they get....sorry, I’m totally checked out. I don’t care.)
(I want to be so, SO sensitive here because I have dear friends who are in the battle for their lives and their family’s lives. The turn-out could look so different and my heart breaks daily for them. So when I say that I am BEYOND thankful and grateful for Adam’s turn in health, I also know that not everyone has the same experience. I so humbly send you OVERWHELMING peace and comfort.)
I’m in this place in my life where we just moved into this skrinky-dink cute little farmhouse (did I mention it was small?)...but I am in love. I love the simplicity of it. I love sleeping with my blinds open all night and waking up to birds, squirrels and deer every.single.morning. I don’t want more. I don’t want “someday.” I want to live in the moment. I want to be thankful for today. I’ve been traveling a lot these past 4 months all over the country and meeting some incredible and inspiring people along the way. I never.in.a.million.years would’ve thought that I would be teaching classes on natural health, much less in front of people I don’t know!! (See mom and dad? I’m using that teaching degree I have after all!) I’m beyond blessed and feel so fortunate to even have the opportunity. This might sound super weird, but had someone not shared with me the simplicity of natural health, mine and Adam’s life would have looked so much different. I can’t help but share. (I say this over and over, but I’m always in awe that God has given us everything we need to stay healthy -- I just wish we found them earlier and could’ve avoided the mess of he encountered from other non-natural methods.)
I’ve been thinking a lot lately...maybe, just maybe, Adam’s health struggle has a silver lining. Maybe all along God’s plan was to turn the awful.horrible.bad into the good (like He always does). Maybe sharing Adam’s story and our knowledge of natural health can prevent someone else from having to walk down the path that he did. So that’s why I do what I do. For those of you who have so graciously allowed me to teach to you, your friends and family -- you know that it’s not easy for me to get in front of a group and share. I’m nervous every.single.time, my heart races, I’m sweaty....but being able to meet YOU and firsthand see lives changed is what keeps me going. I’m so out of my comfort zone (even over a year-and-a-half later).
So there ya go. Thank YOU to everyone for being so incredibly supportive and gracious to me. Thank YOU to my SWEET friends who have gone beyond the call to help us out when I’m traveling and taken our kids, fed our kids and loved on our kids -- I am SO VERY blessed by YOU!
Live Simply. Be Happy. Changing one life at a time towards NATURAL health.
XO,
Carey
